Monday, January 14, 2013

Secrets I've Kept From My Mother

Last night instead of putting my little self to sleep, I rather became engrossed in back to back episodes of Single Ladies Season Two. One particular scene had me falling over myself and squealing with so much laughter, I thought I would wake up the entire household.

It was a scene which has happened to me time and time again - the scenario when you are alone with a very hot man and making out becomes intense and its obvious that IT is going to happen - only for the male specimen in question to find himself minus something very small but supremely important (drum roll please...) - The Condom.

I'm a firm believer in 'no glove no love'; too many diseases and unplanned pregnancies on this precious earth of ours because of lack of self control. So I always put on my imaginary superwoman suit, slap my panties back on and ask to be taken home.

However before I make my escape, there's always that pitiful cajoling noise, with the sad eyes and the heart-wrenching pleas that ONLY horny men can make -

1.' Let me just put the tip in'

2.'I just wanna know how u feel'

3.'Let me just go for one minute' '

4.I won't come inside you, I SWEAR! '

5.' I GOT this, you won't get pregnant'

6.' what are you afraid of? You know me...'

The plea list is endless, don't encourage me (bursting into giggles)