Saturday, February 26, 2011


Ugh,  I'm sitting behind my laptop once again, on a Saturday evening prowling the internet for anything exciting so that i don't go out of my mind with boredom. Yes, I'm staying in on a Saturday night, not because i choose to but because i actually have no-one and no where to go to. If i had a boyfriend I'm pretty certain i would be with him giving him some much deserved TLC, and if i had somewhere to go I'd probably be on my second round of cocktails which would undoubtedly take away my appetite for at least two days and make me loose two kilos of my hard-earned weight gain- yes i really struggled to get here, stuffed my face like no man's business.
But alas here i am, bored to the tenth degree, but delightfully curvy and voluptuous, wondering what colour to paint my nails next and why some-one won't phone me, so we have a totally meaningless conversation; but a conversation nonetheless.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Lets have a toast for the douchebags

Male-bashing has never been my forte but for once in a life time I'm going to dedicate this to the douche-bags who tormented my life this weekend! I've been man-handled, dry humped and had slurred drunken words whispered into my ear about indecent things no woman should ever have to listen to.

So if you are a douche bag who's let your words and actions cause a woman to dislike you, word of advice; get sobered-up and talk to the woman you are interested without being under the influence. And most importantly keep your hungry fingers off her pristine body and keep in mind that if you are truly a sweetheart, she'll make the first move by actually reaching out, and touching you lightly on the arm or thigh throughout your conversation.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

ATTENTION: Wardrobe Mal-function

Once upon a time modern day Cinderella had a dress made for her out of a beautiful fabric....the dress turned out to be a disaster and now its only three days to the ball and Cinderella has absolutely nothing to wear. Where's the fairy god mother, that the ever popular children tale speaks of, who materializes out of thin air in a puffy dress - or in this case of the twenty first century,in a lady Gaga outfit with her purse made out of pork products as her magic wand? 

When you find her let me know, I desperately need her services.