Two deaths in 2011 within twenty-four hours of each other; this new year blows so far. People I know, but have been out of touch with for awhile but still its devastating because these are young people in their twenties like me and there are a million other twenty-something year olds walking arounnd oblivious to the fact that our clocks are ticking and we could be gone in a wink.
Its interesting you know, just this morning my sister and I were talking about the mysteries of death and wondering if our lives are just like video games, where we progress from one stage to the other until we finally finish our life time and it says 'GAME OVER'. You know what i mean don't you? Kind of like we are somewhere -a spirit maybe or an atom or entity, and after we pass certain tests we move on to be born as babies grow to adulthood, die and then our spirit moves on again to follow another course in the universe and then from there on and on, and on until we get to where we are supposed to be - presumably with God which is what i like to believe.
I've made a solemn promise to myself to truely live you know. And yes I admit, i don't want to leave now because there is so much I need and want to do badly; like find my career path in life and make a shit-load of money, be happy, get married and have beautiful babies who will love me to bits and grow old and see what the world looks like sixty years down the line. I need to do all the things I'm petrified of doing because I'm afraid to fail, I need to be open up to the prospect of being loved once again even if it means opening up to be hurt again and I need to appreciate every single person whom I come across and forgive people who have hurt me and let my family and friends know how much I love them!
Grief and her maidens might rule the world today with their tears and sad news but come tomorrow less pain and tears and an affirmation that this life, no matter how short it is, is TOTALLY worth living!